»HATES Homophobic, judgemental fuckwits, anyone with a god complex!
Just some babble about me!
12:49 p.m. - 2006-01-02
I've been on diaryland for years believe it or not. My first diary was devilspawn (now lost forever) and the other two after I'd rather not mention because I think they are rubbish. I like diaryland. I like most diarists who write here. So many original people with something to say. I think it's wonderful. When I first started writing on diaryland I was living in Malta. Now I'm back in the UK. I was only twelve years old when I moved from England to Malta. It was difficult moving to another country. I felt awkward and shy. I didn't know the Language. I stuck out horribly because I'm about 6'1 and most people in Malta are only 5'4 or so. I got sick of being stared at. By the time I was 15, I was taller than all my teachers. When I was 17 I turned down a modelling contract. I don't think I'm particually pretty, just rather odd looking. Plus I don't think my body is that good, I'm very pear-shaped (small boobs, big hips). Though I believe sex-appeal isn't really about looks, it's about confidence. You walk out there thinking "I'm so damn hot!", everyone else will believe it too. I had an eating disorder for years. I didn't like myself very much. I still have low self-esteem. I think my writing is boring. I think I'm boring. I'm a hopeless geek. I have never ever ever been one of the cool people, and probably never will be. I love books, I've been reading books since I was three. A good book makes me happy. It depresses me that No one reads this diary. I want to be read. I'm very moody. Either the highest highs or the lowest lows. Not much middle ground. I want to change. I want to finally shake off all the bad shit and just believe in myself. I want other people to believe in me too. I need to make a fresh start.