»HATES Homophobic, judgemental fuckwits, anyone with a god complex!
How can I write so much with nothing to say?
6:34 p.m. - 2006-03-06
You would think in the five days since I last updated, something interesting might have happened....
No such luck.
Oh well, that's never stopped me before! I think I have totally messed up my friendship with D. The problem is I can't fully trust him after the way he suddenly dumped me, so being friends is difficult. It doesn't matter though, I am ready to move on and just forget the whole mess. I feel so fat I just ate a huge piece of birthday cake. I don't think that will stop me going back for more later! heh. I am worried about my weight though. I know I'm a bit too fat now. I have a little pot belly and everything. Oh, to have my semi-flat tummy back! That's a prob for me. My feminist who-gives-a-damn-how-thin-you-are-women-are-mean-to-be-curvy side and my E.D Thinner-is-better-you-look-so-fat-it's-disgusting side are always fighting. No wonder I'm screwed up, I'm like two different people in the same body. Who are at war. I wish I could accept myself, pot belly and all. I wish N would not text me in the middle of the night to ask me if i'm awake. No I wasn't but I bloody am now, you fool! I accept he has a mini-crush on me, but PLEASE keep it to reasonable hours. Calling or texting me in the middle of the night when I am asleep (except emergencies) is a good way to get yourself killed. Why can't I attract normal men? I know I'm weird but I don't need extra weirdness around me! A nice normal man would be good. All the strange ones seem to be attracted to me. That's enough for now.