Relationship Rant
3:45 p.m. - 2006-02-21
HAPPY 9TH BIRTHDAY J!
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Not too much happening except I'm getting mixed signals from D. Now I've backed off into friend mode, I'm getting the feeling he's keen again. Nothing too obvious, just a pretty strong feeling and I trust my instincts.
I need some feedback from men. Are men only interested in women who act like they don't want them? I'm not OTT but I make my interests pretty clear. I just don't see the point in Game playing. I see what I want and go after it. My mum is a big believer in playing hard to get for a while. Maybe this friendship with D will help me get a good look at how men think and react. Not that I'm generalizing, I know men can be different to one another as can women...but it might give me an idea on where I'm going wrong in relationships. I'm nearly 26 years old. I might not be ready to settle yet but I'm sure I don't want to be single forever.
I've never regretted a single relationship I've had even the ones that were horribly wrong from the beginning. I treat them as a learning experience and I've left each one with something new, even if it is something as simple as an appreciation for a type of music or film I might not have noticed before. Every experience has helped me grow.
I'm tired of men finding out I've a past full of bad experiences with men and judging me on it. I'm tired of being seen as a victim. I'm no victim, I'm stronger than you, you run away because of what has happened to me, I've dealt with it.
I'm not looking for my "other half", I'm a complete person on my own. I just want someone to be a part of my life while I be a part of theirs. I'm sick of men thinking they know me, when they don't even give me a chance to prove myself. Being told they know me better than I know myself...how could you? I'm inside this mind not you!
I just need to be given a chance.
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